No Day but Today
by AnotherBlueScript
Summary: "Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears,the pulse beats, life goes on, but I'm gone.." Post COE story inspired by Finale B  No day but today  from the musical RENT. Angsty.


**A/N I suggest listening to the song if you have not heard it before: /watch?v=jbljhS4xDlU**

**Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC and I reluctantly admit a minor percentage belongs to Starz.**

Jack

He couldn't see a way forward; it was far too painful.

When nothing could be seen but darkness he could survive.

But the darkness never lasted.

He felt it, every second of it, all the tears branded into his heart as he was hauled with such an ache back to life.

_There Is No Future _

He could not forget his lost… whatever Ianto Jones had been. 'Couple'. Were they partners? He did not know. Did not care. Could not care.

This was the man who had smirked and flirted his way into Jack's bed with his godly coffee and perfect suits: neither man had a motive above confirming they were alive. Then _it _had developed…

Despite it being good, despite the empty space that now existed, despite Jack's true feelings, and despite the sickness Jack felt when presented a mug of coffee, he had to move on. Dwelling in the past did nothing for an immortal man.

_There Is No Past_

Ianto

Lisa… She had betrayed him as he had betrayed Jack. Together- he had thought- they were working to keep her alive. But no, Lisa had not fought as hard as him; she had embraced the cyber-cage she was trapped within. Doing so allowed Ianto to die for the first time.

Though Jack had not lost faith and saved him, Jack's reward? Ianto to run from his arms and place the team's lives in danger yet again- his thoughts consumed with Lisa and making her human.

_Thank God This Moment's Not The Last_

Once Lisa was gone Ianto stood on his own and, as a result, stayed with Jack for company during the cold nights spent in the hub working his way to exhaustion.

_There's Only Us_

This was when it started, predictably. Ianto, weakened to the point of pain, had collapsed into tears in front of his boss. Had Jack not been so comforting Ianto knew it could have been the most awkward moment of his life.

However, Jack helped him, giving him a meaning and a purpose. In return, Ianto strived to bring out the human in Jack, as well as accepting the 'monster' he believed he was. A relationship… of sorts.

_There's Only This_

He knew Jack tried, oh he tried so hard, _too_ hard, not to let the ruthless decisions he made get him down but he could not do it. Not wholly.

Jasmine, the chosen girl, demonstrated this with perfect precision. She was when they became equals- Ianto nursed Jack back into living, made him feel worthwhile again.

_Forget Regret Or Life Is Yours To Miss_

Being with Torchwood permitted no chance of a normal life, Ianto would undoubtedly die soon. The pair knew and dreaded it. Not that this stimulated them to make more of their time. They were continually headed towards the end and still remained continuously in the shadows of what they felt.

_No Other Road No Other Way__  
><em>_No Day But Today_

Jack

Cursed with immortality Jack could not blame those who caused him the suffering as he loved them so, nonetheless, he saw negatives more frequently than the positives.

_I Can't Control __  
><em>_My Destiny_

He'd lived so long, had so many lives. It was time for another one and this time his barriers were thicker. This time no one would break though- Ianto had penetrated the façade, consequently hurting Jack.

_I Trust My Soul. My Only Goal __Is Just To Be._

Jack could move on, he had to move on. He could find other lovers.

_Without You…_

One night stands as he roamed the stars.

_The Hand Gropes…_  
><em>The Ear Hears… <em>

He would continue. Jack had to.

_The Pulse Beats_…  
><em>Life Goes On<em>

Then he would pause.

_But I'm Gone._

One night the random and relentless shagging would end. Captain Jack would be forced to admit it.

_Cause I Die._

And only on these lonely, cold nights would Jack allow himself to feel.

_Without You_

These were the times Jack would allow himself to love again.

Ianto

Ianto wondered when Jack would turn to him and tell him it was over. He was no longer interesting. He dreaded the day: Jack was all he had.

_Will I Lose My Dignity_

Would the team see? Would Jack be sorry? Would he move on…To Gwen? Someone like her? Would he make Ianto stand, unaccompanied, his days numbered, and watch?

_Will Someone Care_

Then…Tosh and Owen… The 456… Hearing Jack reject him even as he died. He wished, in that moment, he too could be immortal.

_Will I Wake Tomorrow __From __This Nightmare_

It was painful to watch and hear. He knew what Jack really meant. In a twisted way Ianto understood Jack loved him and he understood he didn't want Ianto giving up. But when it was so _dam _obvious he was going to die couldn't Jack admit it, merely once?

_There's Only __Now..._

Just three words.

_There's Only __Here..._

While the government watched.

_Give In To __Love... _

Just say it Jack.

_Or Live In __Fear... _

Why did he have to die and _still_ not know for sure?

Ianto knew he couldn't. Jack simply couldn't do it. It made Ianto love him all the more.

_No Other __Path... _

_No Other __Way..._

_No Day But Today_

And then…

Ianto Jones said goodbye

To the world

To his friends

To his family

_No Day But Today_

To Jack.


End file.
